by
Jason Moffatt
I veered to the right as I keenly saw an elderly woman in the pouring rain out of the corner of my eye. She was frantically waving her arms signaling me to pull over. Approaching the curb I simultaneously lowered the power windows and asked where she needed to go. “Across the bridge, can you get me there for three dollars? That is all I have,” she mumbled. I was already headed in her direction and was ok with pocketing a few extra bucks, so I unlocked the door and let her enter. The unpleasant aroma released from this granny was immediately invading my cozy warm cab and I was thankful she was only crossing the bridge, or at least I was under the impression she only wanted to cross to the other side. The stench had built up from days without bathing and years of drinking cheap domestic beer. Quickly I re-lowered the power windows for a fresh breath of life saving air. She started rapping some innocent gibberish and I assumed she was a harmless sweet drunk. That is until, somewhere within her rambling she blurted out “I give great head for five bucks.” A tidal wave of inner chuckles was beating down my cheeks begging to escape my lips into wild laughter. I couldn’t believe she had suggested this. She was probably sixty years old, missing multiple teeth and smelled worse than rotting fruit. Not wanting to hurt her feelings, I told her I was involved with a very sweet girl whom I adored very much, and had I not been committed, I would have taken her up on the offer. Yeah right, the only chance this blue haired prune stood with me was if she knocked me out with chloroform. She was so impressed with my kindness and devotion to my imaginary girlfriend that she would not stop complimenting me on how much of a pleasant character I was. Then the grandma claimed that I was the nicest young man she ever met in her thirty years of working the streets as a prostitute. Just imagine all the diseases and pregnancies that must plague a thirty-year veteran of the streets. Then once again, she busted out with “I deep throat great for eight dollars.” Wow, from a regular blow job for five bucks to an eight-dollar deep throat, what the hell was she thinking? I would rather let a sharp toothed pit bull lick peanut butter off my dick before I’d touch this gnarly old grizzled hooker. I reassured her I was very much in love with my lady and it just wouldn’t be fair to her for me to take part in the BJ. It was nearly impossible to avoid busting up laughing in her face, so I decided the ride was more than over with. While still holding my breath, I pulled over and suggested she find another customer somewhere else. It did occur to me for a second to let her keep her last three dollars, but that thought really only lasted for about three seconds. I taxed her for her last bits of change and wished her good luck as she hobbled away in the pouring down rain.
About the Author
Hi, I'm Jason Moffatt, the ex cab driver, and current online nutcase. You see, I'm a freaking madman with like 9000 autobiographical stories, so I felt I would share some of them with you.
Peep my blog, you'll love it http://www.jasonmoffatt.com
Cheers
Article Source: http://www.articleonlinedirectory.com/13093/raining-cats-&-dogs-&-geriatric-hookers.html
Pet Loss: Should You Clone Your Cat?
By: Gary Nugen
Clone a Cat, Go To Jail
...or at least pay a fine. That's the goal of animal welfare activists who announced recently that they are seeking state and federal restrictions on the small but growing pet-cloning industry.
The effort has been spearheaded by the American Anti-Vivisection Society [AAVS] (in suburban Philadelphia), and takes aim at companies such as Genetic Savings and Clone Inc., the California company that began to fill orders for cloned cats last year. The clones - which have sold for $50,000 each - are genetic duplicates of a customer's deceased pet and represent the leading edge of an emerging sector that advocates predict could eventually reap billions of dollars for corporate cloners. The movie, the 6th Day , starring the erstwhile governator, Arnold Schwarzenegger, features pet cloning businesses in a shopping mall during its opening sequences. It may soon be the case that life imitates art in this respect and pet cloning franchises may start popping up in common shopping venues. But not if the AAVS have their way.
Should Cloning Be Allowed?
Several companies are racing to compete with Genetic Savings and Clone, the current industry leader, which has produced about a half-dozen cloned cats and aims to achieve the more difficult goal of cloning a dog this year. Some companies are already selling fish genetically engineered to glow in the dark, while one has said it will soon produce cats engineered to not cause reactions in people allergic to them.
The AAVS petitioned the Department of Agriculture to regulate pet-cloning companies as it does other animal research labs under the Animal Welfare Act. The act demands minimum standards of animal care and detailed reporting of the fates of laboratory animals. They have also been working with a California lawmaker to introduce state legislation that would ban the sale of cloned or genetically engineered pets.
Are Grieving Pet Owners Being Taken Advantage Of?
"Pet cloning companies offer false hope of never having to let go of a pet and are causing harm to animals in the process," the AAVS concluded in a report, "Pet Cloning: Separating Facts From Fluff."
Managers of Genetics Savings and Clone denied emphatically that their enterprise takes advantage of grieving pet owners or harms animals. "We bend over backwards to make sure people are doing this for the right reasons," said company president Lou Hawthorne. Nonetheless, he said, "we're open to additional oversight, provided it makes sense."
The Risks Involved For Cloned Animals
Previously cloned animals have suffered high rates of biological abnormalities and unexpected deaths during gestation and in the first days of life. Hawthorne said that has not been the case with cats. But critics said the process raises other concerns, including the welfare of egg donor and surrogate-mother animals that must undergo multiple surgeries as part of the process of making clones.
The Risks To Owners
The potential for consumer fraud is also an issue. Clones tend to be ordered by people who are grieving the loss of a much-loved pet and who may have unrealistically high expectations of their clones. Although they share identical genetic profiles, clones do not always resemble originals because coat patterns are not strictly genetically determined. Personalities and behavior patterns are even less predictable on the basis of genetics alone. All personalities are products of some basic genetics, and the environment in which the animal is raised and, since a particular environment can never be perfectly recreated (there's always a random element) personalities will, most likely, be different as well in any clone. "Consumers are likely under the impression that a clone is a carbon copy. We believe they are being misled," AAVS policy analyst Crystal Miller-Spiegel said.
David Magnus, director of Stanford University's Center for Biomedical Ethics, spoke more bluntly. "People are not getting what they think they're getting," Magnus said. "This is a $50,000 rip-off."
There is certainly a war of words beginning between the cloning businesses and the AAVS. It's likely to become a more contentious issue as there's potentially a lot of money to be made (at $50,000 per kitten) and companies may see the AAVS's concerns as hurting those potential profits. It's going to be a case of "Watch This Space".
Conclusion
Personally, however, cloning is one option I'm not in favor of but it might be for you if you're looking at replacing a pet that's died. As I mentioned above, the clone may look identical to your lost companion but the personality will likely be different. That's not to say the personality will be better or worse, just different. Look at it this way - how many sets of identical twins have the same personalities despite having the same genetic make-up and being raised in the same environment? There are always random factors involved. Every personality is unique and passes by this way only once.
If you find yourself in a position where you would consider cloning to be an option that will help you cope with the death of your cat, you should do some background reading first. The National Geographic have a news item on pet cloning and some people's reaction to it.
About the Author
Gary Nugent, a software engineer by profession, has been a life-long animal lover, especially of cats and is the webmaster of http://www.cat-oholics.com - a site that helps you make the best choices to keep your cat healthy, happy and long-lived. Why not sign up for the Moggy Morsels newsletter and keep up to date with feline happenings?
Article Source: http://www.articleonlinedirectory.com/546/pet-loss-should-you-clone-your-cat.html
Clone a Cat, Go To Jail
...or at least pay a fine. That's the goal of animal welfare activists who announced recently that they are seeking state and federal restrictions on the small but growing pet-cloning industry.
The effort has been spearheaded by the American Anti-Vivisection Society [AAVS] (in suburban Philadelphia), and takes aim at companies such as Genetic Savings and Clone Inc., the California company that began to fill orders for cloned cats last year. The clones - which have sold for $50,000 each - are genetic duplicates of a customer's deceased pet and represent the leading edge of an emerging sector that advocates predict could eventually reap billions of dollars for corporate cloners. The movie, the 6th Day , starring the erstwhile governator, Arnold Schwarzenegger, features pet cloning businesses in a shopping mall during its opening sequences. It may soon be the case that life imitates art in this respect and pet cloning franchises may start popping up in common shopping venues. But not if the AAVS have their way.
Should Cloning Be Allowed?
Several companies are racing to compete with Genetic Savings and Clone, the current industry leader, which has produced about a half-dozen cloned cats and aims to achieve the more difficult goal of cloning a dog this year. Some companies are already selling fish genetically engineered to glow in the dark, while one has said it will soon produce cats engineered to not cause reactions in people allergic to them.
The AAVS petitioned the Department of Agriculture to regulate pet-cloning companies as it does other animal research labs under the Animal Welfare Act. The act demands minimum standards of animal care and detailed reporting of the fates of laboratory animals. They have also been working with a California lawmaker to introduce state legislation that would ban the sale of cloned or genetically engineered pets.
Are Grieving Pet Owners Being Taken Advantage Of?
"Pet cloning companies offer false hope of never having to let go of a pet and are causing harm to animals in the process," the AAVS concluded in a report, "Pet Cloning: Separating Facts From Fluff."
Managers of Genetics Savings and Clone denied emphatically that their enterprise takes advantage of grieving pet owners or harms animals. "We bend over backwards to make sure people are doing this for the right reasons," said company president Lou Hawthorne. Nonetheless, he said, "we're open to additional oversight, provided it makes sense."
The Risks Involved For Cloned Animals
Previously cloned animals have suffered high rates of biological abnormalities and unexpected deaths during gestation and in the first days of life. Hawthorne said that has not been the case with cats. But critics said the process raises other concerns, including the welfare of egg donor and surrogate-mother animals that must undergo multiple surgeries as part of the process of making clones.
The Risks To Owners
The potential for consumer fraud is also an issue. Clones tend to be ordered by people who are grieving the loss of a much-loved pet and who may have unrealistically high expectations of their clones. Although they share identical genetic profiles, clones do not always resemble originals because coat patterns are not strictly genetically determined. Personalities and behavior patterns are even less predictable on the basis of genetics alone. All personalities are products of some basic genetics, and the environment in which the animal is raised and, since a particular environment can never be perfectly recreated (there's always a random element) personalities will, most likely, be different as well in any clone. "Consumers are likely under the impression that a clone is a carbon copy. We believe they are being misled," AAVS policy analyst Crystal Miller-Spiegel said.
David Magnus, director of Stanford University's Center for Biomedical Ethics, spoke more bluntly. "People are not getting what they think they're getting," Magnus said. "This is a $50,000 rip-off."
There is certainly a war of words beginning between the cloning businesses and the AAVS. It's likely to become a more contentious issue as there's potentially a lot of money to be made (at $50,000 per kitten) and companies may see the AAVS's concerns as hurting those potential profits. It's going to be a case of "Watch This Space".
Conclusion
Personally, however, cloning is one option I'm not in favor of but it might be for you if you're looking at replacing a pet that's died. As I mentioned above, the clone may look identical to your lost companion but the personality will likely be different. That's not to say the personality will be better or worse, just different. Look at it this way - how many sets of identical twins have the same personalities despite having the same genetic make-up and being raised in the same environment? There are always random factors involved. Every personality is unique and passes by this way only once.
If you find yourself in a position where you would consider cloning to be an option that will help you cope with the death of your cat, you should do some background reading first. The National Geographic have a news item on pet cloning and some people's reaction to it.
About the Author
Gary Nugent, a software engineer by profession, has been a life-long animal lover, especially of cats and is the webmaster of http://www.cat-oholics.com - a site that helps you make the best choices to keep your cat healthy, happy and long-lived. Why not sign up for the Moggy Morsels newsletter and keep up to date with feline happenings?
Article Source: http://www.articleonlinedirectory.com/546/pet-loss-should-you-clone-your-cat.html
Organize a Cat Skiing Trip, Ski at a Discount
by
Lachlan Brown
What’s better than backcountry powder shared with a couple of good friends? What beats chasing your buddies through the trees, sharing great lines on open slopes and watching your mates “pop” off bumps into the “pow”? Now, if that though brings a smile, broaden the picture to include 12 good friends. Think about a day of great powder shared with the 12 people you most like to ski or ride with. Then expand that thought to three or four days in succession. Oh, yes, and throw in some uphill tranportation that gives you 12 to 15 great runs a day.
If it seems like a wild dream, it’s not. Snowcat skiers are doing it every year.
Assemble your own group to share a snowcat and two guides and to control the pace of each day’s skiing. The cat rides back up the mountain become almost as much fun as the runs down, filled with the old lies and jokes and stories that you all enjoy sharing. Evenings in the bar at the lodge playing pool or darts for “shots” or soaking in the hot tub just continue the fun of the day. Our "Favorite Chatter Creek Photos" (http://favorite-chatter-creek-photos.blogspot.com). were taken by some old friends who go cat skiing together every year.
Many cat skiing operators in BC encourage groups. At least two operators offer no particular incentive to group leaders, but point out the advantage to having companions that know one another and are all compatible skiers and riders. However, at least three BC operators provide group organizers a free seat and one operator offers two free seats (take 12 people, pay for 10). Other operators offer a discount ranging from $1200 per day, to $1500 for a 4-day tour. Typically, it’s all or nothing and the group size must be 12 to qualify for a discount. As nice as it is to get a great discount, Group Organizers shopping for a cat skiing tour should think about group discounts last, after making a short list of operators having terrain and skiing conditions that best suits their group’s needs.
Organizing a group is no cakewalk. The group organizer is the sole point of contact with the company. He or she collects and accounts for all funds, makes lump payments on behalf of the group, distributes company literature, collects client information and submits it to the company. Above all, the organizer ensures that group members understand the tour dates, transportation arrangements, meeting times and special conditions like baggage restrictions or clothing needed for the trip in to a remote lodge.
The real effort goes into filling the group with compatible skiers. A sign-up list circulated at the end of each tour always generates lots of interest in the following year. Everyone’s ready to be back next year; same time, same place, same group. Fantastic! However, things change a bit in the following weeks, when the deposit becomes due. People return home and remember (or are reminded of) family vacation promises, visiting relatives, budgetary constraints and other priorities. Then it’s “scramble time” for the Group Leader. The deposit is due shortly and the group is not full. Some Group Leaders end up subsidizing the group deposit.
Finally, the organizer handles last minute changes. People get sick or have emergencies or “things” happen at work and substitutes have to be arranged. Snowstorms can force last-minute changes to travel plans, requiring telephone calls to the entire group, as described in the article, “Getting to Chatter Creek: Go Early and Get there“ (http://backcountrywintervacations.com/getting-to-chatter-creek.html)
You may have known your buddies for years, but you don’t really understand them until you try to organize their ski trip. As one cat ski operator noted, “It’s like herding cats”. One or two email messages is not enough to convey critical dates and other information. There is always that benighted soul who forgets or is confused or looses forms or is always late with payments. Experience teaches the value of a standby list of people happy to step in and replace “foot-draggers”. That usually focuses the attention!
Regular reminders and specific confirmation is needed to ensure that people really do understand what they need to know, and that critical dates and times really have been recorded in next year’s calendar, and not this year’s. If the meeting point is in a different time zone, alarm bells have to be rung regularly, or people will forget the time shift, or get it backward. People need reminding that there is a day of travel before and after the dates of the tour. If tour members are married, it’s a good idea to ensure their wives know “the drill”.
Different organizers handle their discount in different ways. Merle McKnight, manager of Chatter Creek, in Golden recommends, “Put it in your pocket, you’ve earned it!” Many organizers do just that. Others share the discount with the group members, giving everyone a small discount. One organizer rents a bus to take his group from Calgary to Golden, where his cat skiing tour starts. That tour really starts and ends in Calgary and everything in between is a blur.
In the end, whatever frustration a group organizer may bear falls right away on that first run of the annual tour, as one’s mates charge down the hill, with whoops and hollers and powder snow flying. The grins on their faces make it all worth while!
Having written so much about organizing groups, I should add that, over the years, I’ve had a number trips with two or three friends, sharing a snowcat with strangers. Without exception, these trips have been wonderful experiences. I’ve made new friends and have thoroughly enjoyed myself. Even though I am an experienced skier, I have rarely felt held back by weaker skiers. Well, perhaps just once. Snowcat skiing is so “laid back” and relaxed and guides are so skilled, that a range in ability within a group can “work” very well. Most snowcat skiing operators encourage just strong intermediate and expert skiers, so “slower” skiers are rarely far behind. More often than not, they end up waiting while the hotshots “scope out” special challenges; cliffs, bumps and the like.
If you don’t really know what cat skiing is, check out Cat Skiing Articles at http://cat-skiing-articles.blogspot.com/.
Lockie Brown lives in Vancouver and skis regularly at Whistler and Blackcomb. For five years, he has organized snowcat sking tours to Chatter Creek , near Golden (http://www.backcountrywintervacations.com). Before that, he had a number of trips to Island Lake Lodge near Fernie. For lots of photos about cat skiing, Lockie suggests the Chatter News at http://powder-skiing.blogspot.com.
lockiebrown@hotmail.com
Lachlan Brown
What’s better than backcountry powder shared with a couple of good friends? What beats chasing your buddies through the trees, sharing great lines on open slopes and watching your mates “pop” off bumps into the “pow”? Now, if that though brings a smile, broaden the picture to include 12 good friends. Think about a day of great powder shared with the 12 people you most like to ski or ride with. Then expand that thought to three or four days in succession. Oh, yes, and throw in some uphill tranportation that gives you 12 to 15 great runs a day.
If it seems like a wild dream, it’s not. Snowcat skiers are doing it every year.
Assemble your own group to share a snowcat and two guides and to control the pace of each day’s skiing. The cat rides back up the mountain become almost as much fun as the runs down, filled with the old lies and jokes and stories that you all enjoy sharing. Evenings in the bar at the lodge playing pool or darts for “shots” or soaking in the hot tub just continue the fun of the day. Our "Favorite Chatter Creek Photos" (http://favorite-chatter-creek-photos.blogspot.com). were taken by some old friends who go cat skiing together every year.
Many cat skiing operators in BC encourage groups. At least two operators offer no particular incentive to group leaders, but point out the advantage to having companions that know one another and are all compatible skiers and riders. However, at least three BC operators provide group organizers a free seat and one operator offers two free seats (take 12 people, pay for 10). Other operators offer a discount ranging from $1200 per day, to $1500 for a 4-day tour. Typically, it’s all or nothing and the group size must be 12 to qualify for a discount. As nice as it is to get a great discount, Group Organizers shopping for a cat skiing tour should think about group discounts last, after making a short list of operators having terrain and skiing conditions that best suits their group’s needs.
Organizing a group is no cakewalk. The group organizer is the sole point of contact with the company. He or she collects and accounts for all funds, makes lump payments on behalf of the group, distributes company literature, collects client information and submits it to the company. Above all, the organizer ensures that group members understand the tour dates, transportation arrangements, meeting times and special conditions like baggage restrictions or clothing needed for the trip in to a remote lodge.
The real effort goes into filling the group with compatible skiers. A sign-up list circulated at the end of each tour always generates lots of interest in the following year. Everyone’s ready to be back next year; same time, same place, same group. Fantastic! However, things change a bit in the following weeks, when the deposit becomes due. People return home and remember (or are reminded of) family vacation promises, visiting relatives, budgetary constraints and other priorities. Then it’s “scramble time” for the Group Leader. The deposit is due shortly and the group is not full. Some Group Leaders end up subsidizing the group deposit.
Finally, the organizer handles last minute changes. People get sick or have emergencies or “things” happen at work and substitutes have to be arranged. Snowstorms can force last-minute changes to travel plans, requiring telephone calls to the entire group, as described in the article, “Getting to Chatter Creek: Go Early and Get there“ (http://backcountrywintervacations.com/getting-to-chatter-creek.html)
You may have known your buddies for years, but you don’t really understand them until you try to organize their ski trip. As one cat ski operator noted, “It’s like herding cats”. One or two email messages is not enough to convey critical dates and other information. There is always that benighted soul who forgets or is confused or looses forms or is always late with payments. Experience teaches the value of a standby list of people happy to step in and replace “foot-draggers”. That usually focuses the attention!
Regular reminders and specific confirmation is needed to ensure that people really do understand what they need to know, and that critical dates and times really have been recorded in next year’s calendar, and not this year’s. If the meeting point is in a different time zone, alarm bells have to be rung regularly, or people will forget the time shift, or get it backward. People need reminding that there is a day of travel before and after the dates of the tour. If tour members are married, it’s a good idea to ensure their wives know “the drill”.
Different organizers handle their discount in different ways. Merle McKnight, manager of Chatter Creek, in Golden recommends, “Put it in your pocket, you’ve earned it!” Many organizers do just that. Others share the discount with the group members, giving everyone a small discount. One organizer rents a bus to take his group from Calgary to Golden, where his cat skiing tour starts. That tour really starts and ends in Calgary and everything in between is a blur.
In the end, whatever frustration a group organizer may bear falls right away on that first run of the annual tour, as one’s mates charge down the hill, with whoops and hollers and powder snow flying. The grins on their faces make it all worth while!
Having written so much about organizing groups, I should add that, over the years, I’ve had a number trips with two or three friends, sharing a snowcat with strangers. Without exception, these trips have been wonderful experiences. I’ve made new friends and have thoroughly enjoyed myself. Even though I am an experienced skier, I have rarely felt held back by weaker skiers. Well, perhaps just once. Snowcat skiing is so “laid back” and relaxed and guides are so skilled, that a range in ability within a group can “work” very well. Most snowcat skiing operators encourage just strong intermediate and expert skiers, so “slower” skiers are rarely far behind. More often than not, they end up waiting while the hotshots “scope out” special challenges; cliffs, bumps and the like.
If you don’t really know what cat skiing is, check out Cat Skiing Articles at http://cat-skiing-articles.blogspot.com/.
Lockie Brown lives in Vancouver and skis regularly at Whistler and Blackcomb. For five years, he has organized snowcat sking tours to Chatter Creek , near Golden (http://www.backcountrywintervacations.com). Before that, he had a number of trips to Island Lake Lodge near Fernie. For lots of photos about cat skiing, Lockie suggests the Chatter News at http://powder-skiing.blogspot.com.
lockiebrown@hotmail.com