By Melissa Becker
Sometimes you end up torn between two loves, your mate and your pet. So what do you do if you boyfriend is allergic to your cat or your girlfriend is allergic to you dog. Before you have to make the tough decision of which one to get rid of you need to step back and try these things first.
Most importantly is to make sure that they really are allergic. I’m not suggesting that your significant other is lying, but most people discover they have an allergy when they are young and then spend the rest of their life avoiding that object, for obvious reasons. But people can and do grow out of allergies. Unless they have a life threatening allergy then there is nothing to be lost by doing a quick meeting and seeing how it goes. Not all dogs are created equal. I own three large boxer dogs and my last boyfriend swore he was allergic to dogs. But after he ended up staying the night he was surprised that he wasn’t broken out in hives and could still breathe. He still is allergic to log haired dogs but my short haired dogs didn’t trigger anything.
If your partner is willing there are a number of over the counter and prescription drugs that can control mild to moderate allergy symptoms. It will likely take time to figure out what combination of pills is powerful enough to control the symptoms without causing side effect. Some of the side effects of allergy medication can include drowsiness, an inability to focus, and an overall feeling of fatigue. This is no way to live. Imagine trying to get through your daily routine in that haze you feel when you have a cold and have taken something for it. Many people will take these drugs with no problems but for some of them the side effects are too much. Don’t be angry if the drug options do not solve the problem. There are still things you can do to try and create a co-existence.
If they have a mild reaction then there are some things you can do to try and control the allergens and dander in your home so that your love and your pet can co-exist. Give frequent baths to try and remove dander and vacuum daily using a machine with a heap filter. Air purifiers and filters in your home will also help. Try to keep the bedroom an animal free zone, even when your boyfriend or girlfriend isn’t around. That way they will limit their exposure to the allergen. A friend of mine was dating a guy who was highly allergic to cats. At first she followed these guidelines and it worked but eventually she found herself missing waking up with her furry friend on the nights she was alone. But even this little amount of contamination led to him spending an itchy night next time he came over. If you are going to try and make this work, balancing a pet and an allergic partner, you need to give it one hundred percent. Even a few slips will ruin the whole thing.
But what if the situation is totally incompatible? I would not recommend getting rid of your pet until you are sure that your relationship is going the distance. In the short term you may be spending more time at the other person’s apartment instead of yours, but the short term annoyance of that is better then the lasting pain of giving up a pet that you don’t have to. Once you are sure that you are going to be together forever, or close to it, you owe it to your animal companion to make sure that it finds a good home. You may think that taking it to a shelter is enough but older animals are hard to adopt and they may linger for long periods of time. Some shelters have to put down older animals just to make room to the number of stray cats that are brought in everyday. If you can find a trusted friend or family member this is the best option because you will at least get to visit. But keep in mind that you are giving away your pet, not just renting it out. If the relationship doesn’t work out you can’t come back and reclaim the pet. It isn’t fair to the animal or the new family it has.
Melissa Becker, contributing writer for www.petpeoplefishing.com, a free online dating service for pet loving singles. PetPeopleFishing knows the importance of finding a match who can accept your animal companions and not see them as barriers to your relationship.
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